Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 1 of Single Motherhood

Yes, Jeremy is out of town with his dad. And in an unfortunate coincidence, my parents are on their annual coastal vacation week.

30 hours in and I've already cried 2 tears.

8 days of single motherhood with a bi-polar 3 year old and an 8 week old that has suddenly woken up and loves to be awake! And working full time to boot!

The first evening was quite easy. Too easy.

The first morning went off without a hitch. We even got out the door 1/2 hour earlier than usual.

Then Monday upon picking Carson up from school, things started to fall apart.

Keaton was screaming hungry by the time we rolled into the driveway. Carson was whining and the dog was banging his coned head against the front window.

Sherpa-style, I hauled in the six large bags that seem to follow me everywhere, dumped them in front of the door and got out my keys.

Only to find my house key was gone. Fallen off somewhere between locking the door at 8 am that morning and now. Holy $*&%!!

Thank GOD the last person to use our hide-a-key put it back!

Got in the house, kicked bags aside, took dog's cone off (trying to heal his three sores that are a result of being neglected and bored). Dog proceeds to knock scab off his nose and is bleeding all over everything.

Mental break-down oncoming.

Hold Keaton my left arm, keep his bottle in his mouth with my chin, and make mac n cheese with my right hand. Me starving.

Carson, not following directions and goofing around, knocks over his un-lidded "big boy" cup of milk. Pouring off the table onto bleeding dog's nose who is trying to lap it up as fast as it falls.

I grab Carson to put him in time-out for messing around and he turns around and hits me.

I lose it. I am sad to say. I am embarrassed that my emotion got the better of me. I spanked him. First time, not sure if it will be the last time but hopefully not again in reaction to a situation.

Carson screaming in time-out. Keaton fussing. And now it's time to leave for swim class.

Dress screaming Carson in swim gear. Pack bags up in car again. Cone bleeding dog.

Swim class was actually very fun! Carson is doing amazingly and it is so fun to watch him. This time I actually got to sit by the pool since Daddy is on "Cation" (vacation).

But then it falls apart again. Trying to shower Carson and for some reason Keaton is starving and crying.

Have you ever tried to pull up a pull-up on a wet kid? Or jammies? Even a non-stressed parent could lose it!

Watching the clock, my stress level is reaching epic proportions because I have to get on a conference call with clients at 8:30 pm. It's now 7:45, Keaton needs a bottle, and Carson is running around a locker room.

Make it home at 8:20. Still have to get Carson pottied, teeth brushed, nose emptied of boogers, and read him two stories. Oh, and Keaton is eating AGAIN.

The usual bedtime stalling tactics are somewhat trying and funny on a normal night. Tonight, I have ZERO patience for them. Poor Carson keeps staring at me like I'm a monster. Probably because I was.

Make it to my conference call at 8:40. Late and embarrassed, holding Keaton who is still eating, and PRAYING Carson doesn't come out of his room (he usually comes out twice with stalling excuses). I threatened him that if he came out, I would NOT be buying him new markers.

Fortunately he didn't come out but Keaton was wide awake and not interested in sitting by himself. I switched off between stuffing the pacifier in his face and then bottle. At one point he barfed all over the bouncy chair while in my arms so that was no longer an option.

The infant noises that would normally be cute and adorable when talking on the phone with a Grandma or other mother were just awkward and frustrating. A baby cooing into the phone to my clients who are childless by choice was final straw.

And that's when I shed my two tears. Looking into Keaton's eyes when I hung up the phone, feeling like a failure as a mother for trying to keep my baby quiet, feeling like a lousy excuse for a Realtor for my lack of professionalism on the phone.

Six days to go.

Stay tuned. I may be blogging from the funny farm soon.

1 comment:

  1. You can do this:) We all are thankful sometimes that no is looking at us parent from outside our home. There is absolutely NO judgement from this mommy of two.


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