Carson-isms

This morning I asked Carson if he wanted milk or water with breakfast. He responded, "Beer".

Wednesday in REI a gentleman about 20 feet away sneezed. Carson, while playing on a bike, shouted, "Blessssss You". He also says Bless You to himself after his own sneezes.

When Cousin Thomas woke up from his nap today, Carson said, "Baby Gogas wake".

Carson tried to pee in the potty today. Really tried. I even offered him a marshmellow for a pee in the potty. Nothing. So he hopped off and proceeded to pee in the bathtub and excitedly asked me for his prize of a ..... mustache. Perhaps we need to work on his phonics.

Yesterday was Carson's last day at the YMCA daycare. I walked in, leaned my head in to say good-bye to the director for the final time. She got up from her desk with her head down and I thought she was going to try to convince me to stay. Nope. Instead she simply said, "Carson got bit today . . . in the face."

I had no other option than to laugh and respond, "Are you aware that I'm picking him up early today because we are headed to meet a professional photographer for a an extended family portrait." Of all days.

The photographer assured me he could airbrush out the black eye and full dention bruise over his checkbone. I then asked him if he could also airbrush me larger breasts.

On Carson's last day, his four main care providers all happened to be on shift when I picked him up. I thought I would be okay but within minutes we were all crying. They were heartbroken that he was leaving and made him a good-bye book. Miss Blanka carried him all the way out to the car and even buckled him in. I thought for a moment that she was going to get in the car with us and head over to his new school.

Carson was very excited to visit his new school today. All day long he kept saying, "Nu Sku". He was in love with his nu sku because they had a "monta truk" (monster truck), a "digga", (digger)and a tool bench. He is also excited because he gets to wear pull ups at nu sku. Personally I think they're just a pain in the neck because you have to pull his pants entirely off to get the next on one. But if this helps with potty training, I'm ALL FOR IT!!

We're headed out to the beach for Labor Day weekend and for three days all Carson can talk about is Beach, Wa-wa (water), Boots, and Boat. Let's hope the weather holds because I cannot imagine being in a boat, in the water, in the rain, with a two year old. But I am very excited for fresh crab and clams! However, I will be skipping the BBQ'd oysters.

Say what?

I am a translater of toddler-ese. I interpret for my husband, my sister, my mom and dad, and anyone else who needs to know what Carson is saying.

Would you understand him?

Blackee-beebees ........................Blackberries (my personal favorite)

Wome .......................................................... Home

Pop ............................................................... Stop

Bauk bauk ................................................... Egg

Neigh ........................................................... Horse

Cank-ca-wope ............................................ Cantelope

Tool ............................................................. Stool

Woo-woo .................................................... Dog

Nini .............................................................. Ian


And many many more.

Right now I have done something that I am not proud of but was at a loss and didn't feel like doing the nightly dinner battle.

My son is watching Nemo (for the 341st time), on the couch, with his dinner plate in his lap, and he is using a large toothpick to skewer his bite sized pieces of fried egg sandwich. He thinks it's just like the samples at Costco and is eating every bite.

I am proud to say that I won my eBay auction for less than my maximum and Carson's Halloween costume is heading to the UPS office now! I'm not thrilled with his choice but he's soooo excited! I thought I had one year left to pick his costume and transform him into some adorable animal that everyone would want to just eat up. Let's just say that he picked a character from his favorite movie (see above for reference).

We have also entered the infamous toddler boot phase. He has worn his rubber boots every day this week. His feet stink like a 250 pound man wrapped in plastic wrap. It's disgusting and adorable all at once.

I also discovered that after 6 months of giving Carson a "multivitamin" - I was really giving him a calcium gummy. Crap. I was just nominated for Worst Mother of the Year, again.

Caught the Big One

Boys will be boys. Most everyone knows I tend to be on the "let 'em figure it out" end of the parenting spectrum. I don't cut Carson's grapes, I let him climb ladders, and he has fallen off the chair more than once. However, I do push knives away from the edge of the counter, keep the cleaning chemicals in a locked cabinet, and freak out if he runs into the parking lot without holding my hand.

But that being said, we live in the country. There are a larger than normal number of hazards for our curious young son. Our barn is probably the most dangerous place to be with tools, chemicals, 12 foot high shelving, a woodstove, and more. We do not leave him alone in there, ever.

But yesterday was the perfect example of how you can't protect your children at all times. We were all in the barn. Jeremy and I were fussing over a broken weed whacker and heard a loud SNAP. Then a pitiful wail.

There stood Carson with his arms slightly outstretched, looking very confused, as a mouse trap had his tiny finger in a vise grip.

I jumped higher and faster than the USA track and field team, over tractors, edgers, and a Halloween decoration with visions of a severed finger ... on ice.... in a cooler ... on the way to the hospital.

No blood, not even a mark, and Carson simply said with an impish smile, "Moh".

No wonder we haven't caught any freaking mice!

Be sure to check out Carson's 2 year portraits! Not sure how much longer they'll be posted.
Go to www.lisadillonphoto.com and enter the Portrait Site. Click on CLIENTS. The password is carson

Future Actor Or Salesman

Carson's pediatrician predicted that Carson will either be a salesman or actor when he grows up. I can't disagree. The kid is wired for an audience. We can only hope that he is so good at it that he can help us retire early and is the lap of luxury!

While camping last weekend, we heard a muffled, "Mommy, mommy". The three mommy's looked over to see Carson proudly smirking with a cigarette hanging out of his lips. In true smoking style no less! How on EARTH did he know what it should look like? We don't smoke, he's not around people that smoke?!? While the other moms gagged and dove for their hand sanitizer, I about died laughing and dove for the camera. Unfortunately there are no pictures to capture the horrific image.

Some well meaning (or really pissed off) relative sent Carson a TWELVE PIECE BAND SET for his birthday. The UPS driver had no idea where it came from. No note in the box either. What cruel and unusual punishment for his mommy and daddy! I mean really!


Last week when it was still hot (I post this after 4 straight days of rain, in August no less), we tried out the Sunset wading pool! Very fun and the second best $6 I've ever spent (Oaks Park $6 still trumps all others).


Apparently Carson knows that Poppa has a mustache. He found a shaping mold for a mustache in his Play-doh set and insisted that I make one for him. He kept wiping his upper lip and saying, "Poppa, poppa!".

Today he insisted on wearing his new fireman raincoat. Firetruck in Carson language is "woo woo truck". He coupled it with his "digga hat" for a perfect look. His teachers wrote on his school report card today that he wouldn't take them off until nap time. He still had the hat on when I picked him up today.

Post-Camping Field Trip

On the way back from camping we stopped at the fish hatchery to break up the drive. Carson enjoyed feeding the salmon but mostly liked running around.

What? It's hard to see fish with your eyes closed.

Mommy, is this why you don't like swimming in lakes? These fish are bigger than me!
This one could eat me for breakfast!
Why can't I drink the water?
Yummmm. POPcorn!

HOT! HOT! HOT!

This weekend found us camping yet again this summer. This time in Toll Bridge Park 17 miles south of Hood River in nearly record breaking heat.

I am not ashamed to admit that we camp in the lap of luxury! We ran our AIR CONDITIONING 24 hours a day for the 100+ degree weather. Our 15 inch flat screen TV played DVD's for early morning wake up calls. And I toasted toast in an electric toaster.

We enjoyed great company with the Roth & Larson families! It was the Roth's first trip camping with their daughter Kinley and she exceeded all of our expectations! She slept like a champ in the tent despite record breaking heat. Sydney & Kinley turn 2 in the first week of September and talked circles around Carson.

My favorite quote of the weekend was Kinley comforting Carson when he was crying: "Are you okay honey? Do you need hugs?"

Our boil-in-a-bag omlettes turned out pretty darn well for a first try. Every meal was scrumptious and the drinks were free flowing.

This was by FAR the dirtiest camping trip we've EVER experienced! It was absolutely filthy!

Carson shared his dining room table with the ladies
Mine!
Can it get any hotter?
Thank goodness for an $8 pool!
Clothing optional!
Cards for three, sorry Carson, you're too young! Step away from the rum!
It's MY TURN!!!!
Don't you need a push?
I don't have a mustache! It's dirt, I swear.

We are little angels.
Aimee and Tiffany rallying the troups!
Sharing canteloupe with a little dirt.
But why? Why do I need a bath?
Before bath time, the tub was just for fun.

Preston & Jeremy enjoying Joe's Ladder Golf game.
Super messy
Our outdoor shower came in quite handy, and in fact was the only way we could get the kids hosed down enough to get them in bed. Twice a day in fact, once for naps and once for bed.

Stop! Shower time!
I'm liking this!
This is the more lady-like version of getting hosed down.

Playtime!
Man down!
And then on the way home, we couldn't figure out why he was so quiet.
Carson fell asleep while reading his book.

No Driver's License Required

We are lucky enough to have a HUGE field for our ridiculous collection of motorized, pint-sized vehicles. They were all gifts from doting relatives and we love them. I just don't think Carson has any idea how lucky he is!

Driving Miss Eloise

Every girl needs a John Deere!
Andrew wasn't convinced that toddlers should be driving so he galloped away on the pony.
Dinner for three!
Notice, Andrew is perfectly clean after his dessert. Not a trace of chocolate.
Miss Eloise has a tiny speck of chocolate in the corner of her lip but her hands are clean enough to keep playing.
And then there is Carson. Where did I go wrong?

This video is hilarious. I know I always say that but this one really is. As always, turn it up. You have to watch it twice. Once watching Carson and once watching Eloise. Just precious.

A new kind of mess!

Our floor is speckled with bright colored flecks due to a very fun but messy birthday present (thanks a lot Roth family!!). Here are Carson and Ian enjoying Playdoh!