I am NOT a helicopter mom. I encourage independence in my children. I always make them try something first before I leap to help.
I'm also not a germ-a-phobe. In fact I love germs!
My personal philosophy is if it doesn't kill you, it just makes you stronger. I don't wash binkies that fall on the floor and believe in the 3, maybe 5, second rule for eating food off the floor.
Now that no one will ever leave their child in my care . . . I do have one issue.
Apparently I am a closet helicopter-germaphobe because I have retained full control over bum-wiping.
If you've followed our family blog, you're familiar, much too familiar, with Carson's crazy poo problems.
It takes some patience and a lot of TP to keep Carson clean. It has never even crossed my mind to let him wipe himself.
In fact, Dr. M told me it was okay to keep TP control for awhile longer. However I am very literal and take specific direction. He didn't give me an end date. I thought it was open-ended.
Like FOREVER.
Our lives were clean and co-dependent. Then Carson started his new school.
First day, I pulled Teacher J aside to explain our poo issues. She looked at me with great sympathy but little flexibility and firmly said, "The children here must wipe themselves. We don't go there."
I almost ran screaming out the door. Noooooo!
That's when Carson looked up at me and said, "It's okay Mommy, I wipe myself at my old school."
HUH? I've been wiping your dirty derriere for more than a year when you can do it yourself???
The light bulb then slowly brightened over my head. I'm off the hook! I'm free! Tushie doodie duty is gone!
Now back to reality. Here we are almost three weeks later.
Relinquishing control over the TP has been a struggle.
First, I watched Carson's technique and vomited a little in my mouth.
I dearly, dearly love his old teachers but someone, somewhere along the way, taught Carson to wipe his bottom from the front.
Picture a 3 year old with a wad of TP reaching from the front, under his hangy parts, dipping his knuckles in the pee/poo water, and scraping poo forward onto his hangy parts.
I'm no expert. I've never taught a child how to wipe his bum. But OMG how did this happen?
I quickly demonstrated the correct technique. Reach around the back and pull up toward your back!
No germ-filled, drippy knuckles. No poo encrusted testicles.
Sadly it's not that easy. He threw his hands up in the air and refused to wipe anymore.
It's been a struggle.
But we're getting there.
I'm letting go of my BKM for BM cleaning in favor of letting Carson do what he is comfortable with.
We've compromised. I sometimes wipe once first to remove the, so sorry, majority, and then let him finish.
Tonight he did it all by himself. I went in afterward for the reconnaissance mission to ensure no itchies before bed.
I really don't recall this chapter in the "So You Think You Want to Get Pregnant" book.
I'm going to publish a new book called, "All the Things about Parenthood Nobody Ever Tells You"
It's going to be the top rated birth control method for 2011.
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