Monday, June 08, 2009

Visiting the peER

Not a capitalization typo. Not the ER, emergency room, but the peER.

On the ride home from Sheridan, celebrating Grandpa Bride's 97th birthday, Carson asked for a drink from the back seat. I didn't think twice about handing him my completely full, 16 ounces water bottle.


The water bottle has what a nearly-3 year old mind considers a SUPER COOL "bite straw" designed by Camelback. So even if a young boy had satisfied his thirst after a sip or two, the bite straw was just too fun and tempting.

We had no idea that he drank the WHOLE bottle in a matter of 5 minutes.

Sheridan to Portland -- 1 hour 20 minutes

Sheridan to Portland with not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR stops for a peER . . . Pee Emergency Restroom --- 1 hour 36 minutes.

Just for your visual imagery: Carson was dressed only in a shirt, underpants, and socks due to a pee mishap earlier in the afternoon- pee shot straight out between the seat and the toilet, soaking everything he had on. Why do I say everything? Because over his shorts, he insisted on wearing his Superhero costume for Grandpa's party. God forbid anyone called him Superman (due to the giant Superman emblem on his chest) because he would instantly correct them and let them know he is NOT Superman but a Superhero.

Stop One in Carlton: "Mommy, pull over, me have to pee real bad". A gas station bathroom so gross that even the owner asked me to carry Carson in and not let him touch the floor. First experience with a urinal because it was only slightly cleaner than the toilet.

Stop Two in Gaston: 20 minutes later. "Me have to pee more". Detour to a baseball field with a portapotty. Second experience with a urinal because he could stand on the toilet seat and aim over.

Stop Three in Forest Grove: 10 minutes later. "More pee Mommy". No bathrooms to be found, pit stop on a gravel road. Aim for the drainage ditch kid!

Stop FOUR in Portland: 20 minutes later but only 10 minutes from home. "I gotta go!" The emergency pull-over in a business park, tinkle on the grass, in full view of a cop. Thank goodness he was busy with a real problem and not the public pee break.

Note to all other mothers. Do not hand over a full water bottle. Ever.

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