Ahhh, Sleep . . . But Controversial Sleep

So we inadvertantly discovered that "Little Buddy" is a tummy sleeper. This is a big no-no in light of the years-old "Back to Sleep" campaign to reduce the rate of SIDS.

And if it weren't for the fact that all of us 30-something year olds slept on our tummies, I might be less inclined to do it. But when Keaton sleeps, we sleep. And when we sleep, we are all nicer to each other, less likely to go postal, and spend less money supporting Starbucks.

So yes, for the last three nights, Keaton has slept deliciously well, only waking twice each night to eat . . . on his tummy with his cute little tushie poking up in the air.

I researched SIDS, listened to the horror stories, and welcomed the emails and calls from the other moms that came out of the tummy-sleep-closet to provide support for our decision.

We bought an AngelCare Monitor to worry a little less at night. Tonight is our first night with it. Interesting contraption that requires a piece of plywood over the crib springs, then an electric mat, then the mattress. On top is the tummy sleeping baby whose every movement is tracked by the mat. If the mat doesn't sense any movement for more than 15 seconds, an alarm shrieks wildly to wake the baby and sleeping parents.

I read all the reviews and talked to a few moms who used it. Aside from an occasional false alarm, they all said it increased their comfort level.

Little Buddy is still super easy. No Mr. Murphy, I don't want to bring your wrath upon me but I'm very hopeful that we're going to get away without colic again. I'm bound and determined to prove our pediatrician wrong, a family can have two easy babies. Pulease!!!!

Murphy & Sleep

Murphy's Law stabbed me in the back for bragging about what a great sleeper Keaton has been.

That's all over. The last 4 nights have been just plain awful.

Grunting, groaning, crying, hiccuping, just plain uncomfortable.

Can't figure out what or why but we've tried everything. Even tummy sleeping which is a no-no these days. It works but last night that didn't even work.

We took turns sleeping on the couch with him so at least one of us could get a few hours of undisturbed sleep at a time in the bedroom.

I know this will end but oh my goodness sleep deprivation is tough on a family. Tempers are short, patience is gone, and coffee is brewing all day long.

I think I can, I think I can.

Major milestones!

Big Milestones this past week!

Keaton weighed in officially at 8 lbs 11 oz on Thursday. Which means two things!

1. He's gained almost 2 pounds in the last two weeks! Wow!

2. Had he been born at the same time his brother was (40 weeks 6 day), which just happens to be today, he would have weighed exactly the same!! 8 lbs 12 oz . . . interesting coincidence!

Keaton shares another fun fact with Carson . . . constipation issues.

I was giddy and bragging about how great a sleeper Keaton is. Only getting up once or twice a night. Murphy's Law kicked in and the last two nights have been awful!

I think though we pinpointed it to a poop problem. I'm down to pumping 3x/day which means Keaton is getting more formula than breastmilk and he is pooping a lot less frequently.

He does not sleep well without pooping first. Gross and sad, but true. So similar to Carson, I ran out to get a different formula yesterday. Hopefully things go better tonight.

Clothing milestone! I packed up the Newborn sized clothes and celebrated the move to "big boy" 0-3 month clothes! I'm in seventh heaven getting to dress him up like my own little doll! And of course, it is a great excuse to go SHOPPING!


Another milestone! We were able to ditch the hospital mandated car seat today! Yay! Back to our carseat. Pros and Cons to both but at least now it's easier to get him in and out of it. Still small enough to require bolsters.

Daddy and his mini-me sleeping on the couch! With each passing day, Keaton looks more and more like Jeremy!

Sleep deprivation has kicked in. This was the part I was dreading the most (aside from pumping) and am counting down the days until Keaton is sleeping through the night or at least only getting up once.

Fortunately now that I'm almost weaned off the pump, I don't have to pump and feed him at each waking at night so things go a bit faster. I can't WAIT to pack up that evil machine and be done.

I Don't Know!

So at least once a day someone asks me, "How much does Keaton weigh now?" I have no idea and we don't go in for another doctor's appointment for two more weeks so now it's driving me crazy.

Plus the competitive side of me is dying to know what he weighs since Carson weighed over 12 pounds at 4 weeks. Keaton is definitely not there since everyone still comments that he looks like a newborn . . . at what point does he switch from newborn to infant?

4 weeks ago today, Keaton popped out at 6 lbs 11 oz. This morning I popped him into the hanging veggie/fruit scale in the produce section of Winco. I prayed no employees would stop me and deliverately avoided eye contact with the other shoppers.

The results . . . nearly 9 pounds. That can't be right. Even fully clothed and with a full diaper that seems high.

I tried our antique scale at home with the old fashioned method of weighing myself and then weighing both of us.

The results . . . 8 pounds.

Can't help it. I insist on accuracy. I called our pediatrician's assistant and made an appointment for tomorrow, just to weigh Keaton. She probably thinks I'm a nut case but I don't care.

Cute Candids of K & C

I really do love blogspot and how easy it is to use. However it's been having all kinds of formatting issues lately. Too much space between paragraphs, no space between paragraphs, pictures don't drag and drop, and once in awhile, a horizontal picture refuses to upload horizontally.

So love or hate technology, the cute pic below of Keaton & Harley refuses to load horizontally. Hopefully you can just turn your laptop sideways :-) At this point, I think our giant cat weighs double our youngest son.

Our cats are not allowed on the furniture (they're rarely allowed in the main house, although it's now up to 2-3 evenings a week) but we pretended not to notice Harley sleeping cozily on the pillow next to Keaton. The cat didn't even realize a baby was next to him!

Carson's latest self-dressing ensemble . . . oh dear lord I hope we don't have to leave the house today!

Show us those awesome socks buddy!

The boys and I had a fun outing to Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Usually I just go through the drive-thru for the cup o' doughnut holes for Carson but this time we actually went inside, saw the tail end of doughnut production, and then Carson actually got to pick out a doughnut from the case. Chocolate covered original with sprinkles!

And yes, that is a sticker on his forehead and a rain coat on!

Last night we went out to our favorite local burger joint (Helvetia Tavern for the curious) and drove completely out of the parking lot and partway home before we realized that we'd left the diaper bag under the table!! It's amazing how much stuff you have to remember with a baby. Oops.

Keaton is such a easy baby! I probably shouldn't even write that down because I'll jinx it but it's so true. He only wakes up twice a night and for the most part goes right back to sleep after eating. When he is awake he just hangs out peacefully looking around and taking it all in.

He sleeps through the loudest noises a 3 year old brother can make, and miraculously, Carson can sleep through Keaton's short bursts of crying in the middle of the night as well.

Yesterday was D-Day. September 12 was Keaton's due date. All week long I've been dreading it because so many moms have told me stories of early babies morphing from calm, sleeping infants into colicky nightmares on their due dates.

No instant change yesterday and I know we're not out of the colic woods yet but I still keep hoping that since Carson didn't have it, Keaton won't either. Please keep your fingers crossed for us! We're bound and determined to prove to our pediatrician that a family can have two easy babies. He's convinced otherwise.

I'm still battling off the mastitis and trying to wean my "girls" off the pump. It's still painful, frustrating, and time consuming but since there is an end in sight, I try to focus on that. At least I was able to get back to work full time on Tuesday.

My boys!

Thank you to all for your support and kind words from my last blog post. The new antibiotic is working much better and I am feeling much more like myself again!

Keaton, following in the footsteps of his older brother, is having a bit of a rough transition to formula. Constipation seems to be the name of the game. Since Carson is a life-long member of the Mirilax club, it just seems to make sense that Keaton will be joining him. Hopefully things start "moving" sooner than later.

Fast asleep on the couch!

Big brother was a bit jealous of the pics of Keaton (we are the awful second time around parents that aren't taking nearly as many pictures so we were trying to catch up this weekend). Carson, who normally runs from the camera, insisted on Daddy taking close-ups of him.

Happy!

Silly

Coy

Intense

Trying to get them both in the same picture

We are such terrible parents! This is Keaton's FIRST bath and he'll be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Come to think of it, Carson had a bath last night for the first time in . . . .??

And this is how he earned his first official nickname tonight, Monkey!

Saturday night Keaton met Eloise. It was love at first sight for Eloise who thought this little guy was better than any doll she could ever wish for. However, when asked if she wanted a baby sister or brother, she solemnly shook her head NO.

Down for the Count

I attended the funeral of a high school friend this weekend.

After graduating at the top of his class at Yale, he suffered for the last 12 years from a debilitating, unidentifiable lung illness. His plans to go to medical school never materialized.

He watched his college friends and his younger sister accomplish their dreams of medical school, and never complained.

He was in a lot of pain, on a ventilator, and traveled to specialists all over the US, and never complained.

When his family and friends spoke at his service, they all mentioned how he took it all in stride to the very end, and never complained.

It was so moving and a tribute to those who are able to put a smile on their face no matter what.

Sadly, I am not that person. My blog post today is about how my wonderful husband has had to listen to me complain for the last 4 days, Labor Day weekend of all times.

I am down for the count. I have hit the wall.

I didn't listen to everyone telling me to slow down, stop working, and just enjoy the first few weeks with my newborn.

I've been working crazy long hours and taking Keaton with me. Trying to do it all. Pump, sell houses, do paperwork, change diapers, do laundry, meet with clients. Because that's who I am.

Unfortunately nature has a way of telling us when we need to slow down. And in this case, nature slapped me in the face with a raging case of double mastitis.

Thursday night the pain began. Fortunately I had a two week follow up with my midwife on Friday. She took one look at me and prescribed antibiotics, rest, and double the pumping. Oh joy.

Friday night we had company (how was I supposed to know I would be sick). Sadly we had to ask them to leave after dinner because I went downhill so quickly. Fever, oh so cold, then raging hot with the sweats. Body aches, nausea, headache. And I complained the whole time.

Saturday I felt a little better but by the evening went downhill again.

Sunday, again the day wasn't too bad but by evening was a total and complete wreck. For those that know me, crying isn't really my thing but due to the extreme pain and fever and hormonal mess, I was a sobbing, complaining nightmare.

And now today, I didn't even have a "good" few hours. The whole day has been just plain awful. My boobs feel like someone used them for punching bags. My nipples are burning and itching like fireants made their home in them. And the cold to hot temperature extremes are just about to do me in. Let me tell you how fun pumping is now!

Called the clinic today and they prescribed a new antibiotic because clearly the first one is not working. And they want me to come in tomorrow for another follow-up.

This is it. This is the straw that is breaking the camel's back for me and my hate-hate relationship with pumping. I'm done. I'm SO done.

Only done pumping doesn't mean you get to pack it up and forget about it. You have to slowly wean yourself off the torturus machine. So while the end is in sight, I'm not really sure what that looks like.

And I feel so badly for all my complaining. Especially after the funeral this weekend.

Enough Writing Already! Pics to Post Finally!

I'm peeling myself away from work for 5 minutes to finally post pictures of our beautiful new baby. He is remarkably easy.

Our pediatrician even commented on it yesterday and looked incredulous when I said he really never cries, only wakes up once or twice a night, and sleeps amazingly. My only complaint is that he is a pooping machine!!

Yesterday at my office he went through 3 diapers in 3 minutes. The second I'd fasten the tab, he'd cut loose with another blast o' poo. And he used my last diaper! I had to rush through my last few "to do" items to stop by Target for more diapers before our evening appointment!

Keaton's 2 week appointment went very well. He gained 8 ounces since he was last weighed so he's right on target! However they no longer adjust for his early birth date and he is on the normal growth chart (compared to full term babies). So he is only 8th percentile for weight (now up to 6 lbs 14 oz) and 51st percentile for height (20 1/4 inches). Tall and skinny like his Daddy!

My only fear at this point is that he is going to hit September 12 (his due date) and suddenly morph into this colicky, high needs baby. Trying not to visualize that since he spends most days at my office and I'm sure my co-workers would not appreciate that.

It is remarkable how much Carson and Keaton look alike. Can you tell them apart?

Carson at 3 days old

Keaton at 1 week old



5 days old at the park in his Preemie Car Seat

Big Brother Carson! Still learning how to pedal and brake so we're sticking with the training wheels for a few more weeks.

If you read my previous post about my evil nemesis, the Breast Pump, you'll understand the irony of this picture.

Skinny little bird legs!

This is how Carson greets Keaton every morning! So sweet!

Just plain cute!

Grandpa Rader with his third grandson!

Mommy and Daddy at the zoo, relaxing while Carson played in the sandbox and Keaton slept in the Ergo.

This picture really should have gone with my previous post "Moving Day". This is Keaton on his sleeping throne in his crib.

Daddy and Keaton's favorite position.

Helpful big brother!

Great Grandpa Cliff meeting his namesake, Keaton Clifford!

Mommy and Baby!

I Pump, I Pump, It's off to Work I Go!

Our week of "vacation" together ended sadly with Jeremy heading back to work Monday morning. Jeremy was lucky enough to be able to turn work off and actually take a paternity leave.



I, on the other hand, am self-employed, Type A, an anal control-freak, and emotionally attached to my clients so I have not taken a day off yet. It would be more stressful to take time off than to fit in everyone's needs.



Enter, my evil nemesis, the Breast Pump.



Contrary to nature's intent and design, my milk spigots function about as well as a clearance bin item at Goodwill.



With Carson I lasted all of nine days at the mercy of the Breast Pump before I waved the white flag. To re-cap, with the blessing of my lactation specialist (kind name for boob nazi who tried duct taping my child to my nipples), I threw my Breast Pump in the closet and bought gallons of formula.


Unfortunately with Carson, I didn't wean my "girls" off the milk truck but instead quit cold turkey. This was a VERY BAD decision which led to double mastitis, scar tissue, a misdiagnosis from my OB/GYN, then a breast ultrasound for "masses", which freaked out the ultrasound tech, who ordered a mammogram.



The mammogram tech freaked out and ordered a double breast biopsy, only to discover, that all this pain and suffering was due to a back-up of milk in the tubes, which I could have told them from the get-go. That was a hellish experience that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.



Back to 5 am in the morning, when I am again pumping away. Every 3 freaking hours to provide my teeny-tiny son with nature's nutrition.



My first day back at work without my awesome husband to help out . . . I pumped just before we left for the day. Loaded up 8 bags into the car, might as well have moved out the entire house at that point. Dropped Carson off at school, went to work with Keaton and breast pump in tow. Unloaded four of the bags at the office including a breast pump backpack (ah yes, conveniently disguised as an every day item), diaper bag, briefcase, and bag full of files.



Pumped again, this time in an empty conference room with the blinds drawn, praying no one would knock on the door to inquire about the rhythmic machinery sounds coming from within. Reloaded three bags, changed a diaper and off to my next appointment.



Pumped again, this time in a shower room at my hair salon. So cozy and warm, not!!



Off again to my next client appointment, Keaton has now been asleep for almost the entire day. Made it through the next appointment only to look at the clock and realize it was 4:20 and I had to be in Hillsboro to pick Carson up at 5 pm. Flew out the door leaving my client and professional photographer to finish up themselves.


Raced down the freeway, somehow made it at 5:05 by some miracle of the traffic gods. Met Jeremy at Fred Meyer (rock star dad had already picked up our to-go meals) and we all headed back down the freeway to Carson's swim lesson.



At which point, my boobs were tingling and crying out for the hard plastic cones of their savior, the breast pump. Most women's milk "lets down" for crying babies, warm cozy, sweet cooing babies. My milk lets down at the sound of a machine and the sight of artificial suction.



I begged and pleaded for more privacy than just a curtained off changing room at the swimming pool. The front desk gal looked very confused and ushered me into the owner's office. She seemed to think I was the most private "nursing" mom in the world. Clearly she was fooled by my "backpack in disguise". I turned my back on the three giant windows and prayed no one would open the door during my extraction session.



And the day starts all over again...





Top Ten Reasons I hate Pumping



1. It feels like someone has my nipples in a vise-grip and just keeps turning the handle tighter and tighter.



2. I feel like a cow getting milked.



3. I have to keep an eye on the clock to make sure I don't go more than 4 hours without pumping or my boobs fill up to my chin with milk, feel like they're smuggling rocks, and I risk getting clogged milk ducts or mastitis.



4. I have to lug around a pump cleverly disguised as backpack and hope to God there is somewhere discreet for me to pump. I have yet to use the battery pack and pump in the car. Trying very hard to avoid that situation.



5. Night time feedings take twice as long because I have to pump first and then feed Keaton or vise versa.



6. Cleaning all the pump parts after every use.



7. Wondering if my boobs will suffer irreparable damage from the constant pumping action.



8. Having to lean forward once a minute to dump out the milk from the cones before it overflows. Considering investing in "Pumpin' Pals", oh yes, that's for real. A website that specializes in milk cones that angle down for the seated pumping.



9. Having Carson ask me, "Mommy is it time for you to pump milk for Baby Keaton?" and then stare at me as my machinery works overtime to provide. Is this going to scar his images of boobs forever?



10. Having my husband stare at me and try to say convincingly, "It's a beautiful thing" as my machinery works overtime to provide. Is this going to scar his images of my boobs forever as I drip breast milk on the couch?





What do I like about pumping??

1. I finally have giant boobs!! It's fascinating for both Jeremy and I. Not completely sure they suit me but they sure are providing temporary entertainment (not for Jeremy sadly but for me). But is it motivation enough to keep pumping?

2. I can eat like a blue ribbon pig at the fair and still lose weight!

3. It does provide extra special nourishment for Keaton.

That's it, and no, I will not be posting any pictures with this post.

*** PS- the lactation specialists at Providence truly are wonderful and are not boob-nazi's. They are very supportive of whatever works best for mom and baby and try to figure out what that really looks like.

Moving Day

Following in the tiny footsteps of his older brother, Keaton received his eviction notice quite early in life. We produced another grunter. Loud, obnoxiously cute grunts followed by singing makes for great home videos but a terrible night's sleep for Mommy and Daddy.



Keaton was abruptly moved to his own room at 3:41 am on Saturday evening. Mommy and Daddy slept peacefully until 6:45 am when Carson poked them in the ribs and said, "Mommy, me wake!"



Now we get amazing 2-2.5 hour chunks of blissful sleep to rev up in between feedings! Hallelujah! In fact last night he only got up once! Probably just a fluke but we'll take what we can get!



The mommy guilt of kicking out the wee-one is far outweighed by the instinctive need for slumber.